Osuwari Through The Years
by shinidamachu
Summary: A compilation of my favorite running gag featuring a little off course bonus. Because yes. Dedicated to @coolstormy4 whose hilarious tumblr's post I based this silly oneshot on.


He was stucked and needed help, that much was obvious. At least obvious to anyone but InuYasha, who was still stubbornly fighting against the web the disgusting youkai had expelled on him - or was it some kind of glue? Kagome had put enough distance between her and the substance to be sure of its nature - keeping the half demon hanging from a tree branch.

The creature, of course, had taken advantage of the situation to make his escape, and vanished three minutes ago with a jewel shard on his neck, which wasn't doing much to attenuate InuYasha's already terrible mood.

"Do you want some help there?"

"Keh! As if a weak human like you could help me." He didn't even look at her, which for some unknown reason ignited a spark of anger that shined red and warm inside of her.

"I'm just trying to be useful, there's no need to be rude."

She could feel it coming, the inevitable fight. It was only a few stupid words away and the hanyou seemed to have an inherent talent when it came to stupidity. So much that Kagome could count the days since they had first met in one hand, while the times they had fight since then had long ago suppressed the hand scale.

"I don't _need_ your help, alright? I can do it by myself." He continued to squirm, in vain.

"Yeah? How is that working out for you?" But he did not reply, so she let out a deep sigh and took the bow off her back, along with an arrow. She put them in position and pointed right at the viscous white wire that held him hanging from the tree. "Be still."

"What? Why?" He finally looked at her and his gaze grew wide the second he did. "What the hell d'you think you're doing?"

"Would you relax? I think I'm really getting the way of it."

"You don't know how to use that thing for the life of you! Put it away before you hit me!" He shouted.

And there they were, the stupid words that made the spark became fire and burn down the last little piece of patiente she still had. She let the bow down slowly, while InuYasha was muttering something she could only assume meant _stupid wench_.

"You know what? You don't have to worry about me hitting you anymore. I just thought of a better way to do it."

"I already told ya I don't need your h-"

"Osuwari!" Sure enough, the half demon plummeted the considerable height until his face meet the ground with a reverberant sound, dragged by the Kotodama No Nenju. She walked away while he complained in form of obscenities, his face still on the floor. "You're welcome."

* * *

"I told you it was gonna rain!" He pointed out again as the drops kept falling in soaring intensity. It felt like the upcoming storm was only waiting for them to get far enough from the little village they had left behind so that coming back was impracticable.

As much as he hated the company of the humans, it looked like a good idea to wait there until every sign of rain disappeared from the sky before keep on travelling.

But Kagome was so sure the weather would clear up that they simply left, despite his warnings. Sometimes her blind optimism would give him strength and make him believe in impossible things. Sometimes it would just get both of them soaking wet in the middle of nowhere.

"I heard you from the first three times!"

"Good." He wasn't supposed to be enjoying this so much. Specially because in normal circunstances, he would be the one wanting to continue the trip independent of any misfortune and she would be the one choosing to wait.

But now she was in a hurry. Something about having to go back home to study. And he should be mad at her, as he always is when she says she needs to go back, or angry about the fact that she had put them in such situation. But right then he was only worry she was gonna catch a cold.

It felt good to be right for once. He would never say it out loud but this was a position that almost always belonged to Kagome. And it felt even better to know that the not so unpredictable event had delayed her plans a little.

Without saying another word, he took off his suikan and placed it above her head, now that the rain was really getting stronger. Not that it would make a big difference. Nevertheless, she thanked him, which was readily answered with a "keh!"

They walked for a few more seconds before Kagome suddenly stopped.

"Look!" She pointed to a spot ahead, her voice higher with excitement. InuYasha looked at the direction she was already running to, and saw what he assumed it was a abandoned hut, hidden between the trees.

But the floor was slick from all the rain and she slipped before she got there, falling in a mud puddle placed on the path.

"Kagome!" InuYasha ran to her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." She said in a reassuring tone, but he needed to see for himself, so he kneeled before her and started to examine every inch of her skin, looking for bruises, but all he could find was mud: on her hair, on her clothes, on her face.

And then it hit him just how hilarious the whole thing was. Not only was she covered on mud head to toe, she had been osuwaried. _Not a pleasant experience, is it?_ InuYasha thought the words but didn't voice them, doing his best to fight the giggles that threatened to scape.

"It's not funny!" She grumbled. And it was all it took. He burst out laughing, so hard and loud he wondered if it was really coming from him. InuYasha couldn't remember the last time he laughed like that - if he had at all -, but he had to admit it was a welcome sensation, and the thought made him laugh even more. "Stop laughing!" He would if he could. "Osuwari."

The familiar force that pulls him down every time she says the damn word acted, and now it was his face that met the mud. InuYasha should had seen that one coming. He started to get up.

"I take it back. It _is_ funny." Now was her time to laugh, and something about it made the half demon want to join her.

"Yeah?" InuYasha took a handful of mud and throw at her.

"Jerk!" She yelled, but there was only amusement on her voice as she counterattacked with a handful of mud of her own. And so it went, even after they had standed up and through the way to the hut, playfull fighting and laughing as the rain poured down.

* * *

"Hurry up, Kagome! Those shards aren't going to be found on their own, you know."

Kagome rolled her eyes to the impatient half demon sitting on her bed and continued to organize her desk, where most of the school supplies remained untouched. She took the mental note of grabbing at least one book and taking it with her to the Feudal Era.

"I told you: we'll come back _after_ I clean my room." She reminded him.

"And I told you: it will be faster if you let me help!"

"I'm almost done, you don't have to get cranky." Kagome walked to the other side of the bedroom, where the vaccum was. "There's only the floor left. And I don't need your help, I have this." She gestured to the device.

InuYasha came closer, curiously sniffing the household appliance. But the fact went unnoticed by Kagome until it was too late. She had plugged it in and in the second she did, the youkai freaked out.

He screamed so loud and jumped back in shock so high, that had her just as frightened, screaming in return. Before had even occurred to Kagome to ask him what was going on, she noticed where he had landed. The desk she had just finished organizing.

"OSUWARI!" And he fell on the ground with a sonore _ploft_. "What has gotten into you? You scared the hell out of me!"

InuYasha got up, but didn't go anywhere near her.

"What has gotten into _me_? Why the hell do you have a kazaana in your house?" He pointed at the vaccum.

 _Oh!_ She was about to laugh when he pulled Tetsusaiga out.

"No, no, no, no, no." She begged. "Put Tetsusaiga away! It's just a vaccum." She unplugged it. "See?" She added, tediously.

InuYasha did as she said and crooked his head, obviously torned between what he had seen and what she had said.

"I still have to clean the floor, so I'm gonna turn it on again, alright?" Kagome plugged the vaccum again, but when she turned back to face him, InuYasha was nowhere to be found. "InuYasha?"

And then she saw him, clinging to the light that hanged from the ceiling. Her eyes went wide with the sight.

"InuYasha, get down right now!"

"No!"

"Don't make me say the word again, I'm not kidding."

"Turn that thing off first."

"InuYasha, get down here before the light-" But before she could finish, the string that kept the light - and now a very frenetic semi demon - hanging gave in to his weight, and gravity did the rest.

"…breaks." She sighed.

He found her in a heartbeat. It was almost embarassing how fast. But in that moment, with the unmistakable combination of long pitch-black hair and tiny green skirt filling his vision, InuYasha didn't mind at all.

And then he saw the wolf.

Being the one facing his direction, Kouga spotted him first, just a small glance before he turned his attention back to Kagome, as if InuYasha was an insignificant bug he decided to ignore. His hands on Kagome's.

It was enough to make red taint his vision and his speed up on their own accord. In the blink of an eye he was between the two of them.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He growled. "Get your filthy hands off her." InuYasha ordered, as if he hadn't break their contact himself as soon as he reached them.

"InuYasha!" Kagome exclaimed behind him.

"What does it look like I'm doing, you stupid mutt? I'm talking to my future wife." The bastard smiled at her, and InuYasha's growl became deeper, his fangs positively showing now.

"Kouga-Kun, please don't make it worse."

"And you!" He turned to Kagome. "We have been waiting for you this whole time! I thought something had happened!"

"I'm so sorry, InuYasha. I didn't mean to make you worry. We were talking and I lost track of time, that's all." He could tell she meant every word, but the very fact that she hadn't see time pass while she was with Kouga made his blood boil.

"You know what?" He grabbed her by the waist and threw her over his shoulder before she had time to do anything beyond gasp in surprise. "You can feel sorry on our way back." InuYasha started to walk.

"Kagome, do you want me to set you free from this pulsing dog? Just say the word and I'll kick him on the face." As Kouga spoke, InuYasha found strong resistance to his advances and didn't have to look back to know it was because the stinky wolf was holding her hands again.

"Do you still _want_ to have hands?" The hanyou asked, through teeth clenched so hard it was a miracle any word could come out of it at all.

"It's alright, Kouga-Kun, really. He has a point. I _do_ have to get back now. And I'm sure Ginta and Hakkaku are looking for you, somewhere. You should get back to the tribe." Kagome rambled on nervously while InuYasha was putting all his effort on giving another step forward.

"Kagome, you are so clever." InuYasha heard in furious anger the sound that indicated the wolf demon was kissing her hands. "No wonder I chose you to be my wife."

"Oh, stop that." She bashfully answered him.

"Yeah." Agreed InuYasha. " _Stop it_." And then the pressure that was keeping them on the same place dissipated, and InuYasha started to move forward again. Kouga made a disdainful sound.

"It's a good thing for you she is around to save your ass, mutt. One of these days you won't be so lucky."

"Bring it on, idiot."

"I'll see you soon, Kagome." He shouted, as InuYasha worked to put as much distance between the youkai and Kagome as he could.

"See you!" She yelled back enthusiastically. InuYasha deliberately adjusted her weight with a not so careful jolt, earning an annoyed, protesting sound from the school girl.

Kouga left in his peculiar speed and only then InuYasha reduced his pace.

"Alright, he is gone. You can stop making a scene and let me down _immediately_."

The half demon didn't know what _making a scene_ was, but he didn't have to be a genious to realize she was madly angry. Every trace of sympathy, so characteristic of her voice, had vanished. And he knew her well enough to know he had taken a dangerous path, but he couldn't care less. If she was mad, so was he.

"So you can osuwari me? I don't feel like it."

"And what makes you think I won't do it right now?" Defied Kagome.

"I'm holding you. You can't possibly be _that_ stupid."

"Let me down!" She started to hit his back with her fists and convulsively kick her legs. InuYasha tightened his arm around her.

"No."

"InuYasha, I _swear_ I'll do it."

"You wouldn't."

"OSUWARI!"

And so they fell, attracted to the ground by the Beads Of Subjugation on his neck. InuYasha with his face to the grass, Kagome on her back, somewhat still trapped in his embrace.

"Get off me!" She demanded furiously, pushing him away as he tried to recover from the tumble. InuYasha grabbed her stubborn hands firmly and climbed on the top of her to keep her still.

"Are you crazy? You could have gotten hurt!" InuYasha roared the words in pure anger and waited for her to curse him something in return. The reply never came.

Instead, she sustained his gaze, defiant. Her breath was heavy and uneven from all the fuss and he could feel it warm and sweet on his face. InuYasha blinked and felt his expression softened instantly at the vision before his golden eyes: parted lips, onyx hair spread across the gras and chest going up and down beneath him. And he asked himself, which he have been doing with an alarming frequency lately, if Kagome has always been that gorgeous.

They remained like that until the sound of Kagome's heart, strong and fast, was the only thing breaking the silence. It wasn't until then that he noticed just how close their faces were and that his heart was matching the speed of hers with every passing second.

She swallowed and his eyes followed the moviment of her exposed throat, then went up to her lips and back to her eyes. InuYasha wondered what she would do if he kissed her right then, right there. But he never got the answer.

The hanyou let go of Kagome and stood up, holding out his hand to her. She ignored it and, with a deep sigh, got on her feet by herself. He watched as she cleaned the grass away from her skirt, thinking she was one of the few people who could make all of her anger appear through the simple gesture.

And judging by how scarlet her cheeks were, Kagome was beyond angry. Sure, InuYasha knew his face was probably in the same embarrasing tone of red, but he supposed it was for a complete different reason.

"Weren't you on a hurry?" It hadn't occurred to him he was paralyzed, observing her every move until she talked again and she sounded more tired than irritaded this time, the hanyou couldn't tell why. "Let's go."

"Hum? Yeah." Was all InuYasha was able to say as he walked to her.

* * *

 **BONUS:** with the first ray of sunlight, the hanyou woke up to the beautiful view of his wife's naked back. The sight was far from being a novelty, but its familiarity didn't stop the thrill from rushing through his body or the smile from spreading across his face. And he doubt it ever would.

His lips acted on their own accord, slowly kissing their way from her back to her shoulder. InuYasha couldn't tell exactly in what moment of the process Kagome had woken up, but now her hand was caressing the back of his head, encouraging him to keep going. It was all he needed.

InuYasha turned his attentions to her neck, a muffled "good morning" between one kiss and the other. He put his arm possessively around her waist and took the advantage to pull her close, yearning to feel every piece of her, bare skin against bare skin.

"Good morning in deed." Kagome giggled. The hanyou smiled and sucked hungrily at her neck, causing the priestess caress to become a strong grip on his silvery hair. InuYasha relieved the hold on her waist and let his hand leisurely slither down her body.

But before he could get any further, his body paralyzed in tension, sensitive ears twitching to the sounds of an awakened Shippou heading to their bedroom. He

"What's wrong?" Kagome wanted to know, hands letting go of his hair, breath still uneven from anticipation. It was Shippou who answered her question.

"Are you guys awake? I'm so hungry." He said, outside. Kagome giggled, finally understanding. InuYasha ignored the fox demon, choosing to bite his wife's ear lobe instead.

"Let's just pretend we're not here."

"I can hear you, stupid!"

"Come on, InuYasha, aren't you hungry too?" The priestess wanted to know. InuYasha replied with a cocky smile and a new trail of kisses to the naked flesh of her shoulders.

"Starving."

"I know for a _fact_ you are not that hungry 'cause we just had a pretty good meal last night." The hanyou knew she had a point, but the memories of the night before had on him the opposite effect she was looking for. In a bold move, InuYasha grabbed one of her breasts, caressing it the way he knew she liked it.

"Will you keep talking about food without making any? Cause my stomach started to hurt." Complained the little demon. InuYasha growled.

"Go to Sango's! Eat yesterday's leftovers! I don't care!" He exploded, and resumed on his intention of kissing every inch of his wife's body.

" _Kagome_!" Shippou tried, on a pleading voice. InuYasha could even imagine the little pout on the brat's face.

" _InuYasha_ …" She started, and he already knew how it was gonna go.

"I know, I know." The half demon interupted her. " _Osuwari_!" He finished her sentence with an inaccurate impression of her voice and sat up. Kagome looked very pleased by it.

"Just one second, Shippou-Chan! InuYasha will take care of it!"

"Yeah, I'm gonna need a little more than a second." He said, low. Kagome bit back a laugh, which didn't help at all.

InuYasha sighed and stood up, picking up his clothes as he spotted them.

"Have you seen my-" But when InuYasha looked at her to ask, he found out that his underwear was already hanging from her index finger. InuYasha smiled at her smug face and took the fabric back.

Kagome got up, putting her clothes on as well.

"What do you want to eat, brat?" InuYasha shouted.

"Fish is fine. Two fishes. Actually, make it three." The half demon rolled his eyes and made his way to the window that would take him to the forest outside.

"InuYasha, wait!" He heard his wife call.

"Hum?" Kagome came to him and placed her tiny, smooth hands on his chest, carressing it slowly before grabbing his suikan and bring him down to meet her lips in a hot, deep kiss.

"We will continue this later." She promised.

"Keh!"


End file.
